


Lion's Mead

by Felinosis



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Armpit Kink, Armpit Licking, Blow Jobs, Brief Mentions of Cannibalism, Cock Slapping, Cock Worship, Deepthroating, Face-Fucking, Feral Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, Foreskin Play, Having cringe sex with my fail lord, Large Cock, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Musk drunk, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Rough Oral Sex, Scent Kink, Smegma, Under-negotiated Kink, Verbal Humiliation, are either of those actual tags, cock drunk, more like, musk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:07:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26851918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Felinosis/pseuds/Felinosis
Summary: The original plan was for Felix to drag the pitiful husk of a prince to the baths and restore him to something not viscerally repulsive, but the smell which had fermented within Dimitri's armor for the past five years reached his nose. He should feel nauseous, he knew, but instead….Oh, Felix was horny.Dimitri has not bathed in five years.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 9
Kudos: 62





	Lion's Mead

**Author's Note:**

> Alt title: WHAT ZERO DICK DOES TO A MF
> 
> If you actually read this: thanks I promise it's not as gross as the tags make it seem please believe me. But I also wrote this so mayb my concept of "gross" is diff from most ppl....

In the center of the cathedral was Dimitri—sulking or sleeping on his two feet, none could tell. Not even Felix for how many nights he's stood there silently watching the fallen king bake in the moonlight; to Felix's benefit, he never strayed close enough to see if the man's eyes were open or not. He had no idea what compelled him to do so tonight, but his feet brought him nearer with each step. There were still a few meters between them when a certain sensation stopped him in his tracks.

_What the fuck is that smell?_

It was familiar, but Felix had thought it had been the miasma of rotting corpses which had littered the building before Byleth and the others arrived (Felix had told himself the various torn open cavities and missing entrails were the fault of scavenging animals, but knew it unlikely), and thought it would go away now that they had cleaned up and made the building somewhat presentable. Undoubtedly the gore didn't help, but the true source of the fetor still stood before him.

Felix wondered, _how badly does he stink for me to smell it through his armor?_ To his horror, his next thought was _do I want to find out?_

Of course he didn't. The boar was repulsive both mentally and physically, and it disgusted him beyond belief! He'd already been up close and personal with the beast that constituted Dimitri's mind; the very last thing he wanted was to expose himself to the boar's inability to maintain basic hygiene as well. Still, Felix couldn't bring himself to walk away.

"Boar," he hollered, "do you even know how badly you reek?"

Dimitri's head turned only enough to see Felix in his peripheral vision before returning to its original position.

Felix pushed past his olfactory antipathy and pressed forward. "I _know_ you heard me! When was the last time you bathed?"

Again Dimitri's head turned, but this time it remained long enough for him to address the other man.

"Before that self serving excuse for a queen sentenced me to death."

Felix had thought there was nothing Dimitri could possibly do or say that would surprise him, yet there he stood, gaping like a fool. His mouth snapped shut once he realized letting the air onto his tongue was making the odor worse.

"You can't be serious! Five years? You haven't bathed in half a decade!?"

Dimitri stared at him for only a moment before turning his head forward once more.

Equal parts repulsed and enraged, Felix endured the proximity to the object of his disgust so he could yank Dimitri back by his cape. "You damned—you know what, I can't even call you a boar. At least hogs have the sense to clean themselves!"

Dimitri was far too large and heavy for Felix to truly displace, but the prince humored the attempt by turning towards the other.

"If you hate what I've become, then do something about it yourself."

Felix had half the mind to unsheath his blade and cut Dimitri down like he seemed to ask for, but Felix was never good at doing what he was told. He took a few steps back and ordered:

"Strip."

Dimitri's lips curled into something half resembling a smirk, but it was gone far too quickly to be noted. Felix watched silently as he unclasped the countless pieces of armor which adorned his body and allowed them to fall to the ground. He stopped once he was shelled, but still wore his boots and the form fitting shirt and pants beneath—all ratty and soiled with blood and other kinds of fluids.

"Your attempts to intimidate me are fruitless. There's not a thing you could do to make me fear you."

The original plan was for Felix to drag the pitiful husk of a prince to the baths and restore him to something not viscerally repulsive, but the smell which had fermented within Dimitri's armor for the past five years reached his nose. He clenched his fists. He should feel nauseous, he knew, but instead….

Oh, Felix was horny.

The smell was so strong and _so pleasingly masculine_. All those years of repressing his homosexuality along sweaty sparring matches and close encampments have agglomerated into the undeniable desire he experienced right then and there. When he stomped over to beside Dimitri and grabbed the man's arm, it was dictated by his other head instead of the one upon his shoulders. Dimitri assumed Felix would yank him by the arm and was unprepared for his limb to be pushed upwards and Felix to shove his face into the exposed armpit.

"You're fucking disgusting," Felix hissed into the dirty fabric. "There's not a single man in Fódlan as deplorable as you. I can’t believe someone could live covered in filth like this, much less for five years…."

Dimitri wasn't sure what to make of the situation. Of all things he expected, this was not one of them. The mystery was unceremoniously solved when Felix mindlessly shoved his groin against Dimitri’s hip and disclosed the partially hard state of his penis. Dimitri smirked again—fully, this time—as he sneered towards the man occupying himself with the prince's underarm.

"Oh, what is this?" Dimitri emphasized his words by grinding his thigh between Felix's legs.

"It's—" Felix's words were cut off by an annoyed whine, breath hot against the sensitive skin of Dimitri's armpit even through the shirt.

"You’re not getting aroused by smelling my underarm, are you?"

"Shut the fuck up," was the best Felix could respond with. He pulled his dick out of his pants with one hand and spit into the other, roughly grabbing his penis as he shoved his face back beneath Dimitri's arm.

Dimitri chuckled. "You're rather haughty for someone masturbating to the smell of a filthy armpit. Especially that of the beast you loathe." 

"Shut up," Felix mumbled, still not pulling away. His wet hand continued to massage his foreskin up and down the length of his cock despite the other man's words. In fact, Dimitri thought his hand might have sped up a bit.

Dimitri pushed Felix away just enough to pull his shirt off and throw it to the floor. The pungent smell along with the lack of blood in Felix's head almost caused him to topple over. He regained himself, and immediately shoved his nose back as soon as Dimitri pulled his arm behind his head to expose himself again, sighing now that he was directly against Dimitri’s skin.

"Is it that good?"

"It's fucking awful," Felix replied, breathless. "I can barely breathe."

"If it was truly that awful, I'd think you would have done something about it rather than indulge."

Felix looked up to meet Dimitri's eyes and—without breaking contact—dragged his tongue through the thick forest of coarse yellow hair within Dimitri's armpit. The feeling was completely foreign to the sensitive flesh, and Dimitri had to inhale deeply to keep himself grounded as Felix closed his eyes and continued to lavish his body with his tongue. It was so odd—both the action itself and resulting sensation—yet having the uncharted terrain explored stirred something within him. Without thinking, Dimitri wrapped his arm around Felix in something like a chokehold, forcing the man even deeper into his armpit. The hot breath against his skin as Felix gasped made him shudder. It was all starting to make Dimitri’s groin grow hot and head blur as well….

“I can’t believe you’re enjoying this,” Felix muttered, but it was barely audible over how breathless he was. He had struggled to breathe before, but genuinely couldn’t with his nose and mouth forced against Dimitri’s body. Every small inhale he managed was of nothing but the obscene body odor. Despite this, he raised his free hand to pull at Dimitri’s skin, exposing more of Dimitri’s armpit and tasting the fresh, salty sweat hidden beneath the wiry hair.

“Getting off... on how dirty your armpits are….”

Dimitri squeezed Felix harder, and the black haired man whined.

“There's more apt areas for you to pleasure me with, considering the disdain you apparently hold for my underarms.”

Before Felix could object, Dimitri pulled him away and pushed him onto his knees. Felix looked up, indignant both from the rough treatment and being rudely yanked from his position. He _should_ object, but he knew what was coming next—and it smelled much worse than Dimitri’s armpits. His cock throbbed.

“Well? What are you waiting for?” Dimitri looked down.

“Undress _yourself_ ,” Felix grumbled. It was a struggle to not tear Dimitri’s pants off but he was dedicated to clinging to whatever meager bit of pride he still had, regardless of how futile it was. Dimitri had been the one to strip his clothes off himself anyways!

“Mmm,” Dimitri closed his eyes and cupped the outline of his dick. The bulge reached halfway down his thigh and he wasn’t even fully hard. Felix watched his hand, entranced.

“A-are you going to take your pants off or what?!”

“Is it wrong of me to enjoy my condition while it lasts? I have little doubt that I will be spotless once you’re finished.”

“You seriously like this. Pathetic,” Felix spat, and Dimitri huffed in amusement.

He squeezed his cock again, growing harder with each of Felix’s insults. He relished both in Felix’s baseless uppityness and how the dirt and grime caking every inch of his body turned Felix into such a desperate mess—that his lack of hygiene was bad enough to reduce the prideful noble to such a low state. The invective furthered his arousal, and it apparently went both ways.

“Ah, it’s rather rude of me to keep it all to myself, isn’t it?” Dimitri admitted. He made quick work of his laces and moved his smallclothes down until he could pull his penis out. He gripped the base and held it up towards Felix’s nose.

Now merely a foot away from Dimitri’s bare length, the fetid smell hit him like a hammer. The dried concoction of bodily secretions sullying the prince’s pubes and dick was enough to make his nares burn.

Felix dove right into it.

“You already seem much happier,” Dimitri mused

"Quiet, boar," Felix hissed, not pulling back from where his face was nestled up against Dimitri’s scrotum. "Quit blaming me for your inability to keep yourself clean. If you actually bathed every once in a while, I wouldn't be like this."

Dimitri smiled down—it wasn't a kind smile but not exactly a sneer; Felix couldn't tell what the man was thinking.

"Here you are, kneeling before my filthy cock and barely holding yourself back, yet you still have the audacity to insult me. You are no better; accept that fact and bathe me with your tongue like we both know you want to."

The desire to do just that and Felix's contrarianism clashed within his mind. Dimitri was absolutely right but Felix wasn't sure if he was willing to admit it yet.

"If you're going to ask me for a favor, the least you can do is beg," he contended, although his seat on the ground did not lend itself to his attempted intimidation.

Dimitri only laughed.

"Do you really believe you're in any position to make demands?"

"Quiet," Felix hissed. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on how cold the floor was against his knees and think about the day's dinner menu and aim his attention towards _anything_ else but how badly he wanted to shove Dimitri's stupidly fat dick down his mouth. Dimitri _would_ beg if he waited long enough, Felix assured himself; all he had to do was ignore the weight of Dimitri's massive sack against his cheek and the thick, masculine smell that was at its absolute strongest right where his nose was….

Dimitri took a step back which caused Felix to almost topple forward.

"Hmmm. There's a draft, you know. If you're just going to sit here I might as well get dressed, even though I'd prefer to keep warm with your mouth."

It was no impassioned plea, but it was enough that Felix could relieve himself of guilt. He surged forward far too hungrily (which Dimitri got a chuckle out of) and returned himself to his proper place at Dimitri's groin. He lapped at Dimitri's balls, horribly aroused by how they were so heavy that it hurt his tongue to press up against them. Dimitri's dick, not even fully hard, lay heftily atop his head and smeared precum onto his hair, not that he noticed nor cared. He moved higher where his nose could nest itself in Dimitri's pubes and he inhaled deeply, his own dick twitching painfully at the noisome musk. He _really_ couldn't take it anymore. He scooted back until he could take Dimitri in his hands and held it up to his mouth. Some sudden urge to kiss it overtook him and he pressed his lips to it, mouthing at the tip and pressing his tongue against the slit where Dimitri's foreskin was retracted enough to expose. He pulled the skin back a sliver more, and a few white smears along the head hinted as to what lay beneath.

“And here I thought I’d smelled the worst your body has to offer. Did you ever pull this thing back, or has it been festering in here this entire time?”

“Why don’t you tell me?”

Dimitri gripped his cock and shoved it towards Felix’s face, urging the other man on. Felix _should_ have argued, but how could he when he was so far deep into Dimitri’s stench? He was tired of denying himself what was right before him, although he wouldn’t go down without shooting Dimitri a glare at the very least. His hands dropped to the ground so he could push himself up and forward to wrap his tongue around Dimitri’s tip, not hesitating to shove his tongue below the foreskin, basking in how Dimitri watched the muscle bulge out from below the skin. Although he couldn’t see it, he could feel and taste the filth hiding below. He worked his tongue under Dimitri’s foreskin alone, not wanting to sully his hands, pushing it back until the head was fully uncovered and tasting the vile secretions the entire time. Dimitri took pity on him and pulled the skin the rest of the way down his cock, revealing the creamy, vaguely yellowish substance accumulated around and behind the head. Every single crease that was stretched out had even more caked in it, stinking up the air as Dimitri's dick was exposed for the first time in years.

“This…. Gods, how does it even get this bad?"

“I hadn’t exactly been checking,” Dimitri replied. He was oddly contemplative, like he just realized it would have been a good idea to actually clean his dick instead of allowing a wheel of Gautier cheese to grow on it.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

Felix took a deep breath like he was about to dive into water. He dragged his tongue around the tip, collecting the smegma plastered there. It should have been repulsive—just like literally everything else that had occurred thus far—but it was unpleasant at worst. Something as sour and acrid would normally cause Felix to retch but it only turned him on even more. There was so much dick cheese that it started to flow over his tongue, forcing him to swallow, and it wasn't even half of it.

"Does it taste good, Felix?"

Dimitri wiggled his dick slightly to emphasize how much was still left.

"I've never been more nauseous in my life," Felix heaved, and it wasn't entirely exaggerated.

"Yet you scarf it down like a starving man."

"Say another word and I'll get up and leave right now."

Dimitri scoffed. "You can only make the same empty threat so many times. If I held you away, you'd clamor to get your mouth back on me. Save your breath—you'll need it."

Those were the only words Felix got before Dimitri grabbed the back of his head and forced his length down his throat. Felix struggled at first, gagging and throat spasming before he was pulled away and Dimitri let go. His head hung low while he coughed and sputtered. As soon as he looked up, Dimitri slapped his now fully hard cock across Felix's cheek, painting a line of smegma, precum, and saliva. He did so a few more times, the action smacking loudly each time and making Felix's face even more wet. There was no way that didn't hurt but Dimitri didn't seem bothered by it.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, damn beast?!" Felix hissed. Somehow, that was the most unexpected thing so far.

"Are you going to finish the job?" Dimitri grabbed the base of his dick again and positioned it towards Felix's mouth.

Felix wanted to spit another retort but the sight of Dimitri's intimidating cock at full mast, entirely wet with spit and smegma smeared across it while the slit leaked caused Felix's penis to drip onto the floor, despite not having been touched in a good while. He pushed himself forward by his palms and resumed gathering the substance on his tongue, and Dimitri released himself from his hand. Felix had to lick along the entire length of it now if he didn't want to leave any smegma behind. There wasn't much near the base of Dimitri's dick, but he lingered there to smell the rank sweat gathered in Dimitri's pubes.

"Don't forget your purpose," Dimitri reminded him. If he was referring to the current mission of cleaning his filthy cock or something greater, Felix couldn't tell. He gently nipped Dimitri to express his annoyance and Dimitri merely grunted. However, he didn't stop Felix when the man continued to nuzzle the hair on his groin. Eventually, Felix had to pull away if he didn’t want to suffocate. He went back to work, licking up as much dick cheese as he could before his mouth was full and taste buds languished. By the time Felix had replaced all of Dimitri's dick cheese with his spit, his tongue was numb from the vile taste. He lapped the bead of precum at the tip before finally pulling away.

"I'm impressed you were able to eat all of it. Any other man would have vomited halfway through." Dimitri purred, genuinely pleased. "Perhaps neglecting myself was worth seeing you swallow it all."

"You'll have to bathe yourself next time," Felix stated, not bothering to respond to Dimitri's taunt. He moved to get up but Dimitri's hand was firmly placed on his head to stop him.

"I'm still hard, and so are you," Dimitri pointed out.

"So? I agreed to clean you. I never said I was going to get you off."

"All I want is to use your throat, and we both know you want it as well. You deserve to sit back and let me do the work after doing such a splendid job."

Felix's body was tense. He was sure Dimitri would let him go if he objected any more.... but Dimitri was correct yet again.

"...Fine. Just be careful." He closed his eyes and sat still for a moment to appear less eager than he was. He slowly looked up at Dimitri, then closed his eyes again as he opened his mouth.

Dimitri lifted his hand. "Not like this."

"What—"

As soon as Felix opened his eyes, Dimitri pushed him onto his back. The larger man climbed above him so his cock loomed over Felix's face. Dimitri wasn't even able to rest on his knees, instead crouching on his palms and the balls of his feet due to the sheer size of his dick.

"Open," Dimitri ordered.

"In this position?"

"We will do it this way or not at all."

Felix muttered an agreement and Dimitri must have heard it, as he leaned forward onto his elbows, moving his dick down until it poked at Felix's lips. His first instinct was to fight by keeping his lips shut and had to consciously force himself to open them. He didn't bother giving it any attention, merely letting Dimitri's cock descend into the inviting, wet warmth of his mouth. It kept going lower and lower, slipping past the back of his mouth and penetrating deep into his throat. Dimitri stilled as Felix fought against a cough and grabbed the back of Dimitri’s arms for stability. The cathedral was silent save for the howling wind and Felix’s slowing breaths. Once he became quiet and he loosened his grip on Dimitri’s arms, Dimitri lowered himself the rest of the way in until he ended up on his elbows and knees. Felix’s throat bulged obscenely.

Felix’s fingers tensed up yet again, this time due to the overwhelming pleasure of it all. Being crowded in by Dimitri’s body shielded him from any and all fresh air, leaving only the man’s all-consuming cock musk. Dimitri’s massive balls hung heavy over his chin.

“Are you alright?” Dimitri asked, unable to truly forego consideration for Felix’s wellbeing even in his current state—the dregs of his former self poking through, not that Felix was in any position to take note of that. Dimitri hesitated now that he couldn’t watch the other man’s expression.

Felix whined and squeezed Dimitri’s arms as a wordless demand of _hurry up and fuck my throat already, you nasty boar!_

What else was Dimitri supposed to do?

He slowly lifted and then and lowered himself with equal speed, getting the muscles of Felix’s throat acclimated to the stretch. An increasing amount of hot, slick saliva coated his length with each thrust, and made it that much easier to slide in and out. Dimitri cautiously sped up until Felix’s moans mixed in with his gags and mouth gurgled with spit. It wasn’t long before Dimitri was truly and earnestly fucking Felix’s throat—slopily and without abandon. His jaw hung open and drool dripped to the ground off his own tongue. Felix’s throat clenched Dimitri’s length deliciously, as if it were desperate to milk his cock for all its worth. It was so easy for Dimitri to lose himself in the immense wet heat that hugged his dick with each thrust.

Felix’s moans devolved into wanton grunts as his body ran out of strength to even do that. Dimitri’s girth caused his stretched lips to swell red from the repetitive motions, even with his gratuitous saliva facilitating it. Tears swelled at the corners of his eyes, and he wasn’t sure if it was from the abuse of his throat or the wretched stench that permeated every inch of air around him. He released one of Dimitri’s arms to grab his own dick, slick with precum despite the neglect. His shaking fingers grasped at the foreskin and tugged it up and down with much more pressure than he’d normally use, but he was far too gone to care. Another jolt of pleasure ran down his spine every time Dimitri’s ballsack audibly slapped against his face, and his dick pulsed as his nose was forced into Dimitri’s pubes every time their mouth and groin met.

“Ah-are you touching yourself, Felix? Are you going to cum choking on my filthy cock and smothered by my musk?”

Felix only whined. The vibrations made Dimitri’s hips stutter.

“To think my body odor would make you so desperate...hah…. Here, take it all!”

Dimitri’s hips slammed down with as much force as his meaty thighs could muster and a beastly growl was torn out his chest. His balls contracted, spilling a gratuitous amount of cum down Felix’s throat. The other man’s moans were too loud to be contained anymore, and they echoed against the cathedral walls, mixing in with the wet sounds of his hand fervently jerking himself off in desperation to finish while his throat was still full. He was entirely and horribly overtaken by the assault on all his senses and it all drove his pleasure to its peak. His throat constricted as he spilled over his own hand, milking the last few drops Dimitri had to give.

The clear blue moon shone down upon them, accentuating the heaving men still in the position of their coupling. No longer consumed by arousal, the true nature of Dimitri’s scent made itself clear to Felix. He pushed the larger man off and sat up, coughing and gasping from both the strain on his throat and the horrid stench. He turned his head and looked at Dimitri, who sat upon his knees and struggled to catch his own breath.

“Boar.”

Dimitri looked at him.

“Go take an actual bath.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thinking ab writing another chapter where Felix gets his ass reamed and also more armpit stuff but *noncommittal hand wave* Not sure if there's enough interest in this bullshit to justify that effort lol


End file.
